the new term for farting is butt boxing.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
