I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
