Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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