He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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