I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize