I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
