I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
