EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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