I want to walk on stilts...naked
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
