Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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