I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
