If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
God I need to hump something, right now.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize