Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
