Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
