we're chasing vodka with high fives
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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