Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
