I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
what is it with giant penises always finding me
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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