I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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