We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize