dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
