So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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