Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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