I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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