Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
