He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
