Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
