what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
