I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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