We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize