Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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