so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
