Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
