Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize