She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
