i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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