grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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