btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
