is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I am available for nakedness
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