so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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