The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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