Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
