i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
