We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
