Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
