I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
