i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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