How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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