I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
