..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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