he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
