it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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