Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Randomize
