went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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