What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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