o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
