Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He better not be in your backpack
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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