Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize