where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My first STD was from a foam party
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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