She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
