So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize