I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
