She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
