i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
