So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
