Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
