I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My dick has a subreddit
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
