I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
