Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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